Wednesday Morning

The dogs let me sleep until almost 7:30! We walked, ate, let the chickens out…all the morning chores. Now, I’m at my desk and I rearranged the monitor so I can see the whole backyard. The hummingbirds returned the minute I put up the feeders on Saturday. Better stock up on sugar! I’m also keeping an eye out for chickens. They figured out how to get over the fence somehow and have been whacking away at my herb garden. One parsley plant was completely obliterated–just a hole where it used to be. They also tore up the two dill plants my husband gave me. I think he’s got more back in the green house.

My lunch date canceled for today so that makes these morning hours less crucial for work. I did two hours of research work yesterday first thing. Now, I have three memos to write, another interview to transcribe and then an interview this afternoon as well. Been fooling around with recording phone calls and ended up buying a speaker phone. The iPod picks it up ok plus with a phone interview, I can type while we talk. I also bought a little $8 suction cup from Radio Shack that sticks on the receiver and then feeds into the analog recorder. I’ll put that on the phone as well. You really can’t be too careful.

I rewarded myself for all the research work by playing some more with Flash. It is coming back to me and I’ve got one module for a “what food when” game to learn about Jewish holidays. I’m going to start a new one about holidays that include lights. These are samples for a client. No huge bells and whistles but some animation and music.

It’s been nice to be home the last few days. I can putter and get things done on my own time. I’ve got a running “to do” list and managed to check a few things off of it. Put in a big Amnesty International order for my nephew’s birthday and may make a few CDs from vinyl for him, too. I’m hoping to be off doing research next week so am making the most of being at home.

I was going to make chicken salad for lunch. I think I’ll turn those chicken breasts into tortilla soup instead. And I’ve got turkey and potato rolls for turkey burgers. I’ll do those tonight and then make the soup in the crock pot tomorrow. We have folks coming for wine and snacks and I think I’m going to try home backed tortilla chips again. I have a big stack of tortillas to work with. Mostly I’m trying to work with what I’ve got so I can avoid leaving the house until Friday morning when I head to a workshop.

I’ve been feeling pretty lousy the last two or three days so gave myself off from WW. I need to get back on the plan, though. Mostly I’ve eaten cheese: I really miss it! Big chunks dipped in mustard and eaten with crackers. Yum! I haven’t written anything down for at least two days and I’m aware of how the act of recording does keep me from overeating. So, today I’m shooting for a 26 point day. So far, I’ve only had coffee so I’m on track.

Blessings to all!

Getting Back on the Wagon

I’ve been following Weight Watchers for almost three weeks now and doing pretty well.  But, yesterday, I really fell off the wagon.  I tracked my points, which included two pieces of See’s Candy and two glasses of wine and 8 pretzels even though I knew I was over the points already.  But, I went way over, eating into the weekly stash.  And, got a little indigestion as well, something I haven’t had since I started the program.  So, I’m aware of that and today will be pulling back.  I also need to drink more water today.

I am also starting to feel personal pressure to start exercising again.   Just can’t seem to find the time.  And, I’m not even ready to commit to a walk or bike ride today.  I’m trying to finish some work for a client so I can start my research next week without any worry.  Maybe I could at least think about a short yoga session.  I had been doing it pretty religiously until I hurt my back but my back hasn’t hurt for more than a month.  I get a few dog walks but they are short and very leisurely.

Trying to lose weight has always been a struggle for me.  I’m just generally pretty happy with myself and once I figured out that I wasn’t going to be a super model, working hard to be thin didn’t seem worth it.  But, now I’m working hard not to be thin but to be healthy and that’s the final goal.

Good Friday

Yes, it refers to the holiday but it also refers to the fact that after four days away from home, I’m back at my desk watching the birds and the squirrels as I decide what I need to do today.

I finished my crocheted tea cozy and small mat for a friend’s birthday.  I looked for a teapot for her but couldn’t find one I liked so may just get a box of tea to send along with the cozy.  I also spent time last night surfing crochet and craft sites.

I am hoping that crocheting in the evening will help me fight the battle of the bulge.  Last night, I really wanted to snack on something even though I knew I didn’t have any points left and I wasn’t really hungry.  I just wanted to crunch pretzels or crackers. But I crocheted and then cam back and worked on the computer.  I’ve been eating so well the past week that I don’t want to blow it now that I’m home.  I’ve already eaten cereal this morning and am getting ready to open my WW points tracker and plan the rest of the day.

The workshops went well.  I only have a few things on my to do list, especially since I have the whole weekend ahead as well.  I’m enjoying the free time since once I get started on my dissertation research, there won’t be much of that left.  Oh!  The best news…I’m going to get to teach my first online course starting next week.  Very exciting!

I did skip Maundy Thursday last night.  Wasn’t sure I would get home in time and my church was having a supper that required rsvp.  So, I stayed home, cooked scrambled eggs and roasted potatoes for us, then Bob went to a meeting.  I think tonight will be whole wheat spaghetti.  I told Bob I would make pineapple stuffing for Easter along with a slice of ham.

Tuesday Morning Blues

My office window is open and I’m watching the birds. So far, I’ve seen the yellow-rumped warbler, the pine warbler, the red-bellied woodpecker, and a brown thrasher.  It just feels like spring out there. As I walked the dog, a wren sat at the top of the oak tree, just singing his heart out.

So, why does my title refer to the blues?  Partially because after two months free of hot flashes, I’ve woken up the past two nights feeling hot and uncomfortable.  Nowhere near as bad as they were in the fall, but I was hoping they were over.  I did fall asleep last night, but I’m just a little depressed this morning.  I tried scrambling up on the weight watchers wagon yesterday but fell off pretty quickly and was crushed under the wheels, my mouth stuffed with cheese and chocolate.  Now, I’m wearing my sister’s cast off denim capris because they are baggy and comfortable.

But, there is good news.  My dissertation proposal took about three hours and is essentially done.  I’m going to give it another read through tomorrow before sending it to my advisor. And, my school district is working on getting volunteers.  I also got most of the data entered for taxes.  All that, and we spent a couple hours at our property in Charles City and I spent two hours playing recorders with two friends.   Finally, I took a long walk with the dogs.  So, it was a productive day.

Today is all about digital storytelling.  I want to do a short introduction and then play with the software and my flip camera.  Just putter a bit since the workshop isn’t until next week.  I should also write the VITALNews, which takes about three hours.  Actually, maybe I’ll wait until tonight while I’m watching election returns.

I just feel tired despite sleeping pretty well.  I’m still limping a bit from my back injury in February.  Lately, I have just felt old.  And, I’m depressed because I know what the answer is: exercise and eat right.  My blood pressure would go down, I would lose a little weight, and so on.  So, why is it so hard?  Fruits, vegetables, some whole grains and dairy, and a little protein:  I’m picturing what’s in my kitchen: carrots, V-8, high fiber bread, apples, bananas, yogurt, milk, a London Broil for dinner.  All of that is completely legitimate and would be considered good food.  Oh…add apple sauce to the list.  I like all those things, they are generally easy to eat, so why when I get to the kitchen do I find myself reaching for the cheese or the chocolate?  Even while part of my brain is screeching, “NO!”  Maybe this isn’t about willpower.  Maybe it’s about listening to the screeching voice, understanding that the panic comes from the sneaking suspicion that I will never figure this out.  I just don’t want to be thinking about this for the rest of my life.  Just one day. You can do it.  Blessings.