Making Mistakes

I once made a cake and instead of putting in sugar, I put in flour. I use a spell checker to be sure I don’t make spelling mistakes. And, I have 20 dogs in kennels in the back that I use for a dog fighting ring that I finance, and sometimes, when a dog doesn’t perform well, we kill it in cruel ways.

So, I’m willing to believe that the first two events–the recipe disaster and the spelling error–are indeed mistakes. I did not mean to do them, and if I had taken just a few minutes to slow down, I probably could have avoided them. But, I don’t believe that the last one–financing a dog fighting operation, something that is against the law in Virginia–counts as a mistake. Yet, that’s how many people are characterizing Michael Vick’s recent actions. I saw that one of his supporters had a sign that read, “Everyone makes mistakes.” If we take a pretty liberal definition of mistake as an “error of judgment,” then I suppose we could call it that. But, that’s being pretty nice.

Or. maybe the mistake was to declare your innocence for the past five months, stringing along the media and the justice system until your lawyers determined they just couldn’t get you off, even if you are a famous athlete. In that case, it’s a mistake of arrogance. Thinking you are above the law.

I just have a problem with calling it all a mistake. Makes it sound like we can just take out the pencil eraser and make it go away. This guy willfully broke the law and in a cruel, disgusting way. He should have to spend his jail time at an animal shelter, serving the very species that he felt he was so far above. Maybe a year or two of picking up poop will do some good for his conscience.

Birds

My husband and I are bird nerds…we love watching them, chasing them, picturing them. I read Ivan Doig’s Winter Brothers as I toured the Canadian Rockies this summer, and he talks about the importance of birds:

“I live in this suburb for its privacy, the way it empties itself during the workday–people evaporated off to office, school, supermarket–and delivers the valley to me and the birds and backyard cats. I suppose I could get by without the cats, or trade them for other interesting wanderers, maybe coyotes or foxes, but a birdless world, the air permanently fallow, is unthinkable. To be without birds would be to suffer a kind of color blindness, a glaucoma gauzing over one of the planet’s special brightnesses. Bushtits must bounce again out there on the thin ends of birch branches like monks riding bell ropes. A fretful nest-building robin–we always have one or two nattering in the trees at either end of the house–must gather and gather dry spears of grass until the beautiful bristles out like tomcat whiskers. Towhees, chickadees, flickers, juncoes. (All the creatures of this planet that do not know they have splendid names.) Occasional flashing hummingbirds; seasonal grosebeaks who arrive in the driveway and, masked like society burglars, munch on seeds amid the gravel. Besides Carol and the pulse of words across paper there exist few everyday necessaries in my life, but birds are among them” (p. 56).

We had a great time watching birds in Canada: an unusual woodpecker led to a clearing filled with cedar waxwings. Later, we found yellow warblers and gray jays. On our last day, we spent two or three hours following a family of common mergansers swimming and frolicking in the rapids on a river while an osprey with at least one chick cried from its test on a dead tree above the rushing water. Awesome birds…yet, clearly not what people come for. As we sat watching the waxwings in the clearing, a woman poked her head in the car window.

“What are you watching?” she asked politely. I explained that it was birds, and it was exciting because they were in their breeding plumage. The usually subdued Yellow-rumped warbler that we saw in the winter was YELLOW! In particular, his throat positively glowed. She smiled at me in that kind, caring way we save for imbeciles and walked back to her car. I could hear here say in a rather neutral but clearly disappointed tone, “It’s birds…in their breeding plumage.” The van pulled out quickly onto the road, leaving us to bird watch alone.

I would contend that while it is pretty awesome to glimpse a gray wolf in the wild, that is actually much easier and much luckier. You’re either there when the wolf wanders down the highway or you aren’t. And, if you see it, there is no question that it is a wolf. Birds, however, are neither lucky nor easy. I suppose there is some luck if you see something unusual, but the fact is that there are birds around all the time. You just need to stop and start looking. When we did it at the property, we immediately saw several unusual birds. Were we lucky? Sort of because these were birds that were passing through on their way to other places. But mostly we were patient. What about the challenge? Birds are not always readily identifiable…it takes some know how to look at the beak, the feet, any special marking on the head or feathers.

Here’s a great picture of a Clark’s Nutcracker in Jasper National Park at Edith Cavell Mountain.

nutcracker

Bring Back the Clothes Line

I did something today that is against the rules in many places in my community: I hung wet clothes on a line in my back yard. Now, I’m no saint; don’t get me wrong. My dryer is broken. But, it also happens that it broke at a time when my husband and I are looking for ways to reduce our carbon front print and just generally consume less, whether it be energy or bottled water or exotic produce. So, I’ll admit to feeling just a little self-righteous as I clipped my t-shirts and shorts to the line. (For modesty’s sake, I put my underwear on a rack in the kitchen.)

A visitor to the house looked at the sheets I had hanging out and said wistfully, “I really miss having a wash line. But we’re not allowed to in our neighborhood.” We cringed together over the silly rules and continued our walk through the garden. I didn’t think too much about it.

This morning, however, I had a much stronger thought about it. It seems arrogant that home owner’s associations, in the interest of some upper crust aesthetic that says that clothing on the line looks bad (maybe even poor since it means you can’t afford a dryer), force people to use energy in order to do something that could be done without consuming anything. I understand that using the dryer is a convenience; I’m certainly not prepared to give up my washing machine in favor of a ringer and tub. And, when my dryer gets fixed eventually, I’ll probably use it now and then.

But, at least I have the option. So, when I wake up on a Saturday morning and it’s a perfect laundry day–you know th one with its crisp sunshine and pleasant breeze–I can clip my sheets to the line. I do so with a certain satisfying simplicity. Sometimes, I draw an adirondak chair into the small courtyard and sit in the shadow of the laundry as it dries, its sweet clean smell joining grass and dirt. What I want to know is, when did hanging up laundry become a bad thing?

Guilty Pleasures

I am working on a project and have the TV going in the background. My favorite guilty pleasure is on: The Girls Next Door. It is sort of surreal to think that it is going on while I sit here and look out the window at my husband’s garden. Just feels strange somehow.

Music

I am trying to balance work and play as the summer begins. So, last night and this afternoon–it is Saturday, after all–I skipped working on the syllabuses and played with music instead. I couldn’t find all the Cat Stevens music I thought I had imported before I gave the CDs to my nephew. Turns it they all got imported, along with music by Be Bo Deluxe, Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, Elton John’s 11-17-07, and more. Oh, The Strawbs, too, which was Rick Wakeman’s band before Yes. I have been immersed in music: identifying track titles and albums. Some are easy…like the Cat Stevens. The Strawbs and Be Bop Deluxe were a little harder because the music was new to me when I digitized it. I used a combination of Google Music and Rhapsody to identify the songs. It does seem like a few are missing, but I’m sorting now. And, I can’t believe I didn’t digitize any Kate Bush or Don’t Shoot Me I’m Just the Piano Player by Elton John.

A bit later: Turns out a lot of this music is on my old iBook. Still running Classic and there in the iTunes folder was more music: Jethro Tull, Don’t Shoot Me, and lots of other stuff. I’m burning a CD and hope that transfer will be easy.

The next step is to figure out how I used to record music on that iBook. I’ve got my iGriffin dongle and it showed up in the Sound Control Panel. I have SoundEdit installed but when i tried to open it, it crashed. Hmm…I’ll wait until the CD is done and then see what else I’ve got. I seem to remember there might have been a problem with SoundEdit and the dongle.

Meanwhile, I dug out three Kate Bush albums (The Kick Inside, Hounds of Love, Never for Ever). I haven’t followed her…frankly, I haven’t really followed anyone except maybe Neil Young and Bob Dylan. Plus, I’m trying to keep up with new music! The amount of music out there is staggering. Right now, I’ve got 8.5 days of music in iTunes. And I’m about to import at least another day or two.

Free time is fun! I have projects to work on, but nothing so pressing that I have to give up weekend time. If it is rainy tomorrow, I’ll have great music to listen to as I work on writing syllabuses.

Getting Started On Summer

I spent the day at home. Oh joy! Took a 30-minute walk this morning, choosing to head down Lake Powell Road since it is shaded, and I got a late start at 8:30. The wet spot in the woods had water in it and a nice stand of spatterdock. It’s a testimony to the wet spring we had; now, we would like to see more rain in the forecast. Bob said the ground is moist when you dig a hole and he should know. He has spent the past three days planting the roses he got me for my birthday! I stayed inside, nursing a minor headache, doing some work on the computer and finishing the June newsletter. Read Barbara Kingsolver’s book about eating locally, Animal, Vegetable, Mineral, on and off, and am about ready to head to bed with it. Tomorrow is an out-of-the-house day with recorder rehearsal, errands, and a video gig at church in the evening.

Turning 45

I had a very mellow birthday. Woke late, poked around the garden for just a bit, read The Prince, played on the Internet, played the piano. I’m waiting for a draft to come back from my advisor so I can finish up the semester. So, I feel a little like I’m treading water.

My other projects–the three syllabi and Noter–are moving along. I spent most of the day yesterday setting up the server on my laptop and figuring out how to fix the issues with php 5. I think I solved them so now it’s a matter of re-coding some of the pages. I will eventually test it on 4 and 5.

Still trying to figure out food. I’ve been sick so I haven’t been exercising, and this is the time of night when I start making the trips to the kitchen for munchies. I am going to fight the urge tonight. And, I am going to fight the urge to work. I think I’ll just play some more on the computer while I watch An Affair to Remember.

I don’t have any major revelations. It just occurred to me that I should do a tarot reading so I’ll put that next on the list. I keep looking at the calendar as though there is some answer there. I have pockets of free time to work on my final draft and the reflection activity. So, just sit back and relax and enjoy getting older. I’ve had a good life so far and am discovering what it means to be happy and live in the moment. We ate dinner in the Adirondack chairs in the back yard. Very pleasant. Fresh lettuce, cucumbers and radishes from the garden.

A Lovely Friday

It is a lovely day, and I have spent most of it out in the gardens, pruning, moving, and just generally tidying up. I want to head out to the local nursery for some plants, mostly herbs. What a pleasure…I have reached something of a hiatus and am taking advantage of it to do fun things. And, as always, when I feel happy, I’m listening to music and podcasts. I’ve been grabbing music off some old CDs I made from record albums, and then I started thinking about those reel-to-reel tapes I’ve got. I don’t think we have a working rtr player and I’m not really interested in buying one. So, I ended up at iTunes looking for two Sting albums that I loved in the late 80s…The Dream of Blue Turtles and Nothing But The Sun. There they were just waiting to be downloaded…aah, the dangers of iTunes. I listened to both of them. I remembered every song on those albums, just fantastic rhythm, harmony, really tight, music to dance to, to sing along with, and, now, to garden to.

I’ve also subscribed to a bunch of National Public Radio podcasts, including Day to Day, Books, and All Songs Considered. The latter two are dangerous. I added a couple books to my list of must-reads and the first ASC podcast I listened to included an interview with Joe Boyd about his life as a music producer for bands like Pink Floyd, the Incredible String Band and Nick Drake. In that case, there’s a book and lots of music. I was hoping by adding lots of good stuff to listen to, I would be encouraged to walk more. I’ve got two audio books, too, that I added because I thought I was going on a road trip.

I’ve actually been gardening instead of walking but that works, too. Good music, beautiful flowers: the lilac is just getting started on blooming and the wysteria is a gorgeous purple-white fringe over the garage. Mounds of phlox spread across the garden, their lavender flowers blanketing the foliage. It is always a glorious time of year as the garden begins to burst forth. Things come and go and overlap. Right now, the last of the daffodils are blooming, mostly the small, multi-flowered ones. The azaleas are beginning; I can see a dark pink one from my office window. It feels good to garden. With going full time the past two years, I just haven’t had time. It is amazing how much time I have when I only have one class.

And, I’ll end this post with the great news: One of the first things I did this morning was dig out the hummingbird feeders and put out two in the courtyard. As I wrote the last paragraph, a hummingbird came flying in, checked out the orange oriole feeder than moved on to the old red perky pet. Very cool! I think this happened last year; it’s like they are up in the trees just waiting for them to appear. How do they know? We didn’t get any orioles last year so we shall see. We have been getting a wide variety of birds including woodpeckers and yellow-rumped warblers that we haven’t seen before at the feeders.

Falling Off the Wagon

This week started badly. Thursday was a weird food day with stuff that wasn’t in the planner so I guessed. But I ate brownies and I’ve had potato chips two days in a row. They are small bags (about 4 points worth) so maybe that’s better than eating out of the big bag. I get instant portion control and I really think I have enough control not to eat more than one bag. But I’ve been over the top on points and today I found myself in the grazing mode in the kitchen. Ate at least two ounces of swiss cheese. I did get myself under control with some carrots but it’s so easy to fall off the wagon, isn’t it? After the triumph of Wednesday, I’m experiencing the not-so-successful Thursday and Friday and am determined to get back on track tomorrow.

Day 6

I ate a wonderful homemade chocolate cookie that a classmate brought tonight. I faithfully recorded it and still have points left over. Just thought about what the day would have looked like if I would have done my usual travel diet: biscuit and hash browns for breakfast and something with french fries for lunch. Scary…so the cookie was really the right way to go after having a good food day…yogurt/fruit for breakfast before leaving the house, some more of the fish stew with lots of vegies for lunch and then a salad from the Mews with fat free dressing for dinner.

Here’s the McDonald’s deal:
biscuit and two hash browns is 12 points!
And then it’s close to 21 for a small cheeseburger and a large fries! That’s almost all the points you get! EEK! It’s no wonder I’m fat. Actually, the wonder is that I am not fatter. I couldn’t have started this diet any later…this is more than a diet but a life change. I don’t mean to sound too radical, but I really do feel better after just a week. And probably three weeks of doing yoga almost daily for 30 minutes. I did not do it today and I probably should…maybe just some easy stresses and relaxation. I am looking forward to getting back to walking now that the weather is nicer, and I’m wondering if I have to figure out how to navigate the gym in order to keep up the exercise over the winter. That’s got to be a part of this. And, the walking is actually the easiest part…I like it, and I am going to find some good podcasts to listen to, maybe subscribe to the New York Times through Audible.

So, I am taking a minute to pat my back. I’m not hungry right now but still have cottage cheese and a pear to go on the day. I did spend one extra point because I went back and adjusted the chicken and cheese on my salad. I had said one ounce but I changed it to two. And I made it a whole chicken breast although I don’t think that was true. I wonder about the cheese? I just checked: one ounce is your thumb which would be close to 2-1/2 chunks in the salad. So, did I have five chunks? Close to it…I generally overestimate how much I ate since portion control is an issue for me.

It’s almost 8:00 so I may just skip the cottage cheese and pear and have a cup of Tension Tamer tea and relax with Texas by James Michener. Or settle in and watch Barton Fink and add websites to my wikispaces. I like the latter idea…head out to the living room by the fire. I hate to be optimistic since I have failed so many times in the past and lately haven’t even made it past the morning of the second day, but for some reason, this time feels different. I feel different? Is it just a general confidence boost? I am getting lots of recognition…people seems happy with me right now…so I’ve got the steady balance I need to be able to focus my time and energy on this problem. I think that’s the realization, too, that it does take time and energy to change behaviors. After years and years of poor choices, I suppose I am lucky that I am not in worse health. I just find myself thinking to sit up straighter. And my leg and back threatened to hurt today but did not and I didn’t have to take ibuprofen, something I had almost been living on, just sort of part of my daily routine to deal with aches and pains.